Mahoney Knows Homes: House Hunting as a Couple

How to Survive the Process (and Still Like Each Other After)

One night you’re sitting at the kitchen table sharing dreams of everything you envision in your future home. The world is full of hope and your mind is overwhelmed with ideas of designs, themes and images of the parties that you will host surrounded by friends and family. You can see it perfectly, and it’s everything you ever wanted. The next day, you’re in the car for three hours fighting over the air conditioning controls and digging through the glove box trying to find a protein bar because you didn't pack a lunch, and don’t have time to stop anywhere between home showings.

Such an exciting time can be easily soured by lack of preparation and expectations going in. In order to keep that twinkle in your eye for your beloved spouse, here are some of my recommendations for surviving a home search and maintaining your love for each other throughout. Happy Valentine's Day!

Compromise

Unless you have a money tree, you will need to come to terms with this section. I am telling you now that it is highly likely you will not get everything on your list. That is ok, and we need to accept this fact before ever stepping foot in a door. If there was ever a time to pick your battles, pick them before ever walking into a home. Make a list of absolute non-negotiables, and limit it to a number. Each spouse gets the same amount, and if the house doesn’t have it, don’t even bother looking. 

Snacks

One can never underestimate the power of snacks and a small cooler of your favorite thirst quencher. Pack accordingly, especially if you are going to be viewing several homes across a wide area. Your “hangry” husband will look at you like he did on your wedding day when you pull out that bag of cheez-its.  

Be Quick to “No”

If you pull up to the driveway and it’s an immediate “no” for you, and you know that there is absolutely no chance you would ever buy that house, call your realtor and move on to the next. Online photos can often be deceiving. Be quick to say no and save everyone’s time – your energy is better spent on homes that interest you. 

No Home is Perfect

Similar to the compromise section, going in with an understanding that no home is perfect can be extremely helpful for setting expectations going into it. Of course, this can depend on the budget and non-negotiables that come with it. Before viewing homes, agree on your tolerance for “projects” and “upgrades.” When you see a home that exceeds that threshold, revert back to the last section: “ Be Quick to 'No.'”

“Live, Laugh, Love”

Don’t forget to have fun. Pretend barbeque on the deck, step into the walk-in shower, lock your spouse in a closet. This is supposed to be fun! Make memories and enjoy the experience. This is all about you and your future. If you have expectations, snacks and are on the same page, you are going to find the perfect home for you – it's just a matter of time. 

The home buying process can be stressful and daunting, but it doesn't have to be. When you set boundaries and guidelines in advance, it makes the whole process more enjoyable. At the end of the day, the goal isn’t just about finding the right house, it’s about getting there, still excited for the life you’re building together inside of it.